Starpatterned Gifts
by The Magnetic Witch
Summary: TFAxHP Crossover. Instead of Optimus fighting Megatron while falling through Earth's atmosphere, Bumblebee did. Only, Bumblebee happened to fall, and was dropped in the middle of some woods right behind some suburban home. What the heck is a Little Whinging? One-Shot series. T for language, Cover pic is mine.
1. Chapter 1

**_Starpatterned Gifts_**

_A/N: Don't judge me, guys! xD I've just had this baby in my head for ages… And so this is me giving birth, Athena-style._

_OuO Behold my child, dearest Followers of the Cult of The Magnetic Witch! (No, srsly – you're all my cult now.) … I'm almost ashamed to post this, so be gentle. :,3 _

_**And send ideas for One-shots**! :D_

* * *

CHAPTER ONE –

Harry was eight – and didn't that seem forever ago now? – when he first found his first and best friend. He was exploring the woods behind Number Four when he noticed the blue glow further in the distance. Harry had glanced back warily, unsure how far he really wanted to go, before steeling himself and deciding his curiosity was far more important than something silly like _safety_ or _commonsense_.

The closer he got, the better Harry could begin to make out what sounded like pathetic groaning followed by mumbled, biting curses that sounded strange from such a young voice. Harry peered around a tree, and gasped loudly.

There, in what could almost be called a hollow crater if for any reason other than the fact there was a crater at all, was a black and yellow _being_. It – he? – was much bigger than Harry, but he certainly wasn't taller than any of the houses on Little Whinging. The being glanced glowing blue eyes – Harry thought they were eyes, maybe optics? – up quickly upon hearing Harry's gasp, and then it stared in a bemused fashion after locking eyes with Harry, who couldn't seem to move his legs suddenly.

The being and Harry stared at one another for a long, silent moment where neither moved, and Harry quietly stammered, "U-uh, who-no, _what_ are you, uh, sir?" The being gave a weird, confused half smile at the quickly added sir part of Harry's statement, and Harry was almost afraid he'd offended the being when he gave a slight, pained and wheezy laugh.

"I'm Bumblebee, and I'm an Autobot from Cybertron… Though, uh, I have no idea what you are," was the sheepish afterthought. Harry inched slightly closer. "I'm Harry, and I'm a, uh, you know, a human? Um, are you hurt, Mr. Bumblebee?" Harry worriedly asked upon seeing a trail of pink blood-like substance. Bumblebee followed Harry's line of sight and grimaced.

"I-yeah, a little bit. I was battling the leader of the Decepticons, Megatron – and wow, but it just hit me I'm still online! And I think I technically _won_!" Bumblebee gave a slightly hysterical, disbelieving laugh, and Harry walked a few paces forward, enough to be within arm's reach now.

"Mr. Bumblebee?" Harry worriedly called. Bumblebee's hysteria-tinged laughter quickly died down, and he placed his head in his hands – servos? –. "I – oh spark, I'm so fragged! How am I gonna get home? This is such a remote sector of the universe… Oh my spark!" Bumblebee's panic rose with each word, and Harry felt his worry intensify.

"Mr. Bumblebee sir!" Bumblebee paused, made an obvious attempt to calm down, and looked back down at Harry. Harry stared up at him in a determined manner, shyness gone in sight of the larger, alien male's dilemma.

"I don't really know what's going on, but your, like, an alien from space, right?" Bumblebee gave a morose nod, "Then, uh, is there any way I can help you? I mean, you're really hurt Mr. Bumblebee, and kind of, um, bleeding." Bumblebee vented, looking down at himself where there were thin trails of the pink liquid, oozing out from behind cracks and scratches, dents that looked painful and deep, and trails of mud and dirt over yellow and black paint.

"I don't suppose you have some paint, do you? I kind of like my yellow." Bumblebee said sheepishly after a heartbeat. Harry brightened immediately, "I-I can get you some, Mr. Bumblebee sir!"

"Oh, right, you don't have to call me Mister or sir, just Bumblebee works fine!"

"Then you can call me by my name, Mister-I mean, Bumblebee!"

"Right, let's do this again – hi Harry, my name's Bumblebee!"

* * *

At age ten, Harry was finally able to complete all of Bumblebee's necessary repairs. Pounding out dents, finding enough paint, and just getting a necessary fuel source was something that might have been easier if Harry had help, but taking two years was worth it if Harry took into account how his relatives might react if they ever found out about Bumblebee.

When Harry wasn't sneaking around and stealing whatever Bumblebee needed, however, his time was spent just talking with the Cybertronian. Both had a fun and easy time of just trading stories and sharing their individual planets histories, and Harry even went to the library for entire history books on more than one occasion.

Harry found that Bumblebee thrived off of driving at high speeds, enjoyed cubes of what he called Energon, and just generally liked pranks and taking it easy. Of course, by Earth years Bumblebee was somewhat ancient at over a hundred Earth years old, but he was still considered a "youngling" by Cybertronian standards, which to Harry meant could have been anywhere from being equal to ten Earth years old or nineteen Earth years old. Harry figured Bumblebee was between thirteen and seventeen by that calculation even if he was over a hundred by technicality. Apparently Cybertronians matured at a much slower rate, who knew?

Bumblebee, of course, was deeply interested and invested by Earth culture. He found the whole nature thing distasteful, but Harry soon figured that was only because he was used to being surrounded entirely by technology and had never truly seen organic substances up close before crashing on Earth. In fact, Harry was even able to sneak and show Bumblebee whatever game systems Dudley had gotten upset with and thrown away. Harry had never seen Bumblebee as gleeful as he'd been when slashing away at _Ninja Zombies: The Ninjapocalypse _.

It was on Harry's tenth birthday, however, were Bumblebee's suspicions regarding Harry's family proven correct.

Bumblebee had always heard yelling and screaming in the house Harry made his way to and from each and every day without fail, but it was the first time Harry was unable to make his way over. Or at least, the first time Harry hadn't been there by the appointed time. Bumblebee inwardly deliberated for several long seconds before deciding _yes_, discovery _was_ worth it to check on his younger, unprotected – by his standards – friend.

The closer he got, the more worried Bumblebee became. It was late according to this time zone and internal clocks of most of the lifeforms in said time zone, and yet Bumblebee's audio receptors could still hear gruff muttering that might have been intended to be whispering but was instead harsh speaking.

Bumblebee uneasily peeked over the white fence that separated the woods from Harry's "backyard" as he called it. There was a large organic standing over Harry, the hair on his face – which was red from an overabundance of blood rushing to it – quivering, and eyebrows were strung together tightly. Meaty fists were pulled into tight, white knuckled grips that instantly rang alarms bells in Bumblebee's processor. He remained light on his pedes just in case Harry should need him.

As for Harry, Harry was on his backside, apparently having fallen – _or pushed_, Bumblebee acknowledged darkly – onto the ground. Harry's hands were searching for his optical enhancers, or his glasses, which were two short paces to the left out of his sight and reach. There was a crunch, and Harry's posture slumped slightly as his primary caretaker, or his uncle as Harry said, held up Harry's crushed frames and cracked lenses with a wicked, gleeful grin as he barked out several harsher words.

There was a cold, unforgiving intensity that seemed to ignite itself deep in Bumblebee's spark, surging through every bit of his being in that instant. Bumblebee wanted nothing more than to bring out his stingers and electrify that stupid, weak, fleshy organic… But Harry would surely, most definitely be upset at seeing his organic caretaker die in front of him. So Bumblebee held back, but not for Autobot ideology or thoughts of being like a Decepticon, but for Harry's sake – even if it didn't feel as though it was for Harry's sake to Bumblebee in that instant.

Harry looked as though he were about to start crying, those clear green optics of his filled with clear liquid that led to that strange organic leaking, and Bumblebee's rage was suddenly more a blazing inferno or an arctic blizzard in his spark. Bumblebee didn't pay attention to whatever harsh words the undeserving caretaker spat at Harry's taut, quivering figure curling into itself on the ground; Bumblebee focused on how to undo this sort of damage.

Bumblebee had never had Medi-bot training or processor repair classes back in Boot Camp with Bulkhead, but Bumblebee was pretty sure those wouldn't have helped in this case. Instead, Bumblebee waited with what may have very well of been the patience of one of those human religious Saints, carefully making his way over the fence and to Harry after the large, repulsive organic stepped back inside the stationary home unit.

Harry was wiping his nose and hiccupping when Bumblebee gently touched him on the shoulder. Harry jumped, looking up at him, and Bumblebee felt as though his spark were surely going to break into two. Face red and blotchy, jade optics wide and organic leaking evident. Bumblebee made a soft, upset _whrr-crick-krrshkt_ noise, a small murmur of apology and his own version of what might have been crying.

Harry clutched at Bumblebee like a lifeline, and Bumblebee very-very-carefully picked Harry up and carried him back to their usual spot in the woods. He paused a moment, unsure if he should transform, then decided he should despite the risk of being discovered as the Cybertronian automobile. Because Bumblebee would never choose an Alt-mode that just wasn't satisfactory in aesthetics, he was obviously still using his Cybertronian Alt.

Harry normally thought it was cool, but Bumblebee quickly transitioned without giving Harry the chance to observe the transformation, turning up his inner heating ducts in an attempt to warm Harry back to an acceptable level as necessary for his organic body.

Harry sniffed once, twice more. Bumblebee remained silent, engine rumbling, frame tense and anxious. It took several long, quiet minutes before Harry finally relaxed into the cushioned seat. Bumblebee stayed silent, uncertain as to whether or not he should actually say anything when he didn't really know what had happened.

Harry rested his head against Bumblebee's window.

* * *

Harry let out an aggrieved sigh.

Bumblebee looked up from the tiny Gameboy he had fixated his attention on.

"Another letter?" Bumblebee asked. Harry nodded, holding up the slip of strange parchment.

"Yes!" Harry cried, arms in the air. "Yes, and _I don't know where their coming from_!" Bumblebee gave an apologetic shrug. "Hey, I offered to blow up your, _ahem_, caretaker's house and ditch this Primus-forsaken island, but you vetoed that." Harry shot Bumblebee a glare.

"Oh, I wonder why I would object to the death of my relatives, Bee. Really, no idea whatsoever." Bumblebee chose to ignore the sarcasm and nodded sagely. "See, that's what I keep telling you – no reason to object at all!"

Harry snorted lightly. "Oh hush you devilish bot, you." Bumblebee struck a pose. "You're just jealous of this hot bod, mech! Jea-_lous_!" Harry waved a dismissive hand before frowning down at the parchment. Bumblebee paused, too, as he observed Harry's tense and worried expression.

"You 'kay there, boss?" Bumblebee asked quietly, using one of his many names for Harry. Harry pursed his lips before turning a green eye to stare at Bumblebee. "I-yeah, maybe? I don't know, I guess I'm just… Worried, I guess, at how these letters always arrive _wherever I'm at_. What if I have a stalker or something, Bee?" Bumblebee sat next to Harry, silent for a moment before speaking.

"So. A possible stalker is official. Wanna ditch town if they don't stop within a week?"

"Bee, have I ever mentioned how much I love you?"

"Sure, but I could always hear it again!"

* * *

"Yeah… I think I'm good, Mr. Hagrid."

"W-wha'? But, but yer parents went ter Hogwarts, 'Arry!"

"Right, got it, but I think I'd prefer to live as a, er, a _Muggle_ if it meant technology would stop working around me…"

The giant of a man stared in a horrified and flabbergasted manner.

Harry hopped back into Bumblebee's passenger side.

"Nice meeting you, though, and please don't send anymore letters!"

* * *

Bumblebee was quiet. _Too_ quiet. This instantly set Harry on edge.

"Harry," said Bumblebee quietly. Harry hummed an acknowledgement.

"Are dogs supposed to have the same strange energy that you and those Ministry organics have?"

…

"_What_?"

"I mean, organics have weird energy, but you and those Ministry humans are even weirder – no offense – and this dog has the same type of energy, so I was just wondering-"

"Bumblebee," hissed Harry lowly, "wizards can _turn into animals_. Remember what they said about Sirius Black yesterday?"

There was a beat of silence from both boy and mech.

"Oh. _Oh_! Oh, frag!"

* * *

The gruff, dirty, scraggly looking man stared with wide eyes up at the minibot, who certainly seemed big enough to him. Bumblebee glared down imperiously with the glowing blue optics typical of Autobots.

"So, I'm gonna ask you once," Bumblebee said casually, "and If I don't like your answer, I'm going to fry your processor… Which I guess would melt it, but not my problem. Any objections?"

Sirius Black shook his head frantically, before shaking even more frantic and desperately at the sight of Bumblebee's stinger crackling with electricity dancing across the smooth metal. Bumblebee gave a particularly pleased and unpleasant grin.

"Good, let's begin with introductions. My name is Bumblebee, and I'm Harry Potter's, your supposed _target's_, best friend."

If Sirius Black was a strange organic pale before, he was pale as the morning horizon now. Black made a strangled noise deep in his throat.

Harry wouldn't even have to know about this little… _Encounter_, so to say.

* * *

"Harryyyy…"

Harry studiously ignored the minibot.

"Harryyyyy_yyyy_…"

A tic mark was probably developing on his forehead, but Harry was determined not to give in! He was fourteen, frag it, and he could decide for himself whether or not it was worth it in running away. So Bumblebee could go kiss his aft.

"_Harryyyyyyy__**yyyyy**_-"

"For the love of Primus, Bumblebee! Is it seriously that important to you?!"

Bumblebee gave Harry a look that spoke volumes even as he replied, "Of course it is! I've only been suggesting it since you were eight… that's about six stellar cycles now! You hate it here, Harry, wouldn't you seriously rather be _anywhere_ else by now?"

Harry spared a look back at the fence of Number Four, grimacing.

"Fair point, but I can't just leave without a set goal in mind, never mind about supplies and money."

Bumblebee gave a rather evil grin, "Actually, I have a couple ideas!"

Harry figured he would later regret it, but cautiously asked, "Really? Like what?" anyways.

"Well, we could just leave in the middle of the night with any money in either your caretaker's or caretakers biological offspring's stash of money, right?" Harry nodded reluctantly; that wasn't too bad.

Bumblebee finished shortly. "And we could go to America!"

Harry stopped short, sure he heard wrong. "Er, what? Sorry, but I could have sworn you just said _America_."

Bumblebee gave a slight shrug. "Well, yeah. Technically, if I get a good rest, I could totally drive you through the ocean if we hitchhike on a couple large boats or take a break on an island whenever. Water can't really get through my auto systems or anything and… What?"

Harry was giving Bumblebee a very complicated look, facial expression changing and twitching as though he genuinely had no idea which face to express first before giving a slightly hysterical laugh. "So-so that's it? We're driving from _Surry_ to _America _through the _ocean_?"

Bumblebee shrugged and nodded nonchalantly even though he was obviously enjoying Harry's expression. Harry knew beyond a doubt, knew, that this would probably somehow come back and bite Harry either way, refusal to move or not… He also knew that this was possibly one of the only chances he'd ever have of saying he was the first person to drive across the ocean to America.

"Yeah, okay. Why not?"

* * *

Bumblebee peered down at Harry, uncharacteristically quiet but appropriately somber for such a serious and depressing topic.

Harry looked tongue-tied and strangled, face pale and optics wide and according to Bumblebee's heightened senses Harry's heart was pounding rapidly in his cage and _shut up for a second, useless processor_-

"So… So, that is, I haven't physically aged, really since… Four years? Since I was _seventeen_?"

Bumblebee sagged on his tires for a moment, slightly relieved Harry couldn't see his expression when he was in his alt mode.

"It's… Not exactly the simple, boss. Organics require a physical growth, but since everything about you is the same as the day you had your seventeenth Sparkling Day, your chemical makeup and processor – your brain – is exactly the same, too."

Harry vented deeply, leaning back into Bumblebee's seat.

"What does that mean for me, exactly? I'll never mature, never get older?"

Bumblebee hesitated.

"I'm… Not totally sure. I mean, you've kind of always been a bit mature for your designated age group, right? But I'm also not exactly the best at telling how long this is if it's even temporary. Cybertronian's don't _have_ this issue since we live for thousands of Stellar Cycles anyways. But it's also possible this is just a purely physical thing in which you've been, I don't know if contaminated is the right word, but maybe you've been in contact with some energy I've been carrying I didn't know about? And otherwise you'll age just as every other organic, maybe?" Bumblebee vented,

"But I just don't know, Harry. I'm not a qualified medic, so I don't have any answers. The only bot I can think of would be Ratchet, and we still haven't even triangulated my team's location outside of eliminating the southern hemisphere."

Harry made a heartbroken keening sound and Bumblebee's engine rumbled soothing, the urge to scoop the small, organic-but-not male up and to rub his back comfortingly was even stronger than it had been.

Harry swallowed heavily for a moment, before a hand rested uneasily on Bumblebee's dashboard.

"You'll… You'll help me, right Bee?"

"Of course Harry," Bumblebee didn't hesitate to answer.

"We're partner's, right? And it's not like this'll take fifty years to get to the bottom of."

"I'm… Pretty sure you just jinxed us, mate."


	2. Chapter 2

**_Starpatterned Gifts_**

_A/N: You know, I had a friend of mine – who for privacy's sake I shall refer to as AP – read and rate my first chapter for this… You know what he gave me? A 5/10! For "being weird"! Imagine my absolute outrage! :O I'LL SHOW HIM! *Rages*_

_So anyways, thanks to all the Favorites, Follows, and that one Reviewer! UuU I sincerely appreciate each Fav, Follow, and Review! :D It's… Literally the only reason I update._

_*Omg I should be working on _TBD_ for my April update… x,D_

_**A Bayverse Oneshot is in the works FYI and is already over seven-thousand (7,000) words long. UuU_

_***(!)Before anyone harps on me about how "illogical" this is… Uh, Alien robots with emotions, anyone? Besides, it's not like Cybertronian's would be built of the same materials we Earth-peeps use! I'm pretty sure it's practically canon they would be stronger at the very least in TF:Animated. I mean, remember the first two eps of season one? Bumblebee _ripped off the door of a futuristic train-thing_ with his _bare servos_. So yeah; no such thing as "illogical" or "unrealistic" anymore. _

**_Chapter Summary_**_: Bumblebee and Harry go through the Pacific Ocean as planned, bumping into mermaids and a cruise ship or two. Also, sand sucks, and so do tridents._

* * *

CHAPTER ONE –

"Stolen scuba gear?"

"Check."

"Emergency rations?"

"Check."

"Precautionary oil?"

"You _do_ know that's part of the emergency rations, right?"

Bumblebee shrugged,

"Eh, whatever. Credits-er, money?"

"Double check. I also got an extra change of clothes just in case because, you know. _Extra_." Bumblebee nodded before packing everything specified in his subspace. Harry felt his eye twitch. That was almost worse than that magic hocus-pocus, Bumblebee's whole vanishing-and-summoning-items-from-nowhere trick. Sub-space Harry's arse!

Not that Harry would say that out loud, because it would only serve as a great source of amusement for the older mech.

Bumblebee finally transformed with their packing done, opening the driver-side door to his alt. It had taken much wheedling and debating between the two, but in the end Bumblebee had won and went ahead on forgoing an Earth vehicular alt mode. Harry knew he would regret it, but in the end couldn't bring himself to care _too_ much. Who else could say they rode around in an alien car?

_At any rate, it will certainly be experience_, Harry thought as he shook himself from his musings and hopped inside. Despite the seats being an added function, they were surprisingly comfortable, Harry noted absently as Bumblebee began speaking. The minibot's dashboard lit up with each word.

"Hey, boss-man, wanna do one last thing before we get off this island?" Harry grinned, "Maybe, depends on what you have in mind."

"Eh-hem… Intr_oooo_ducing, Bumblebee – destroyer of wooden fences and gardens everywhere!" Harry's grin merely widened as he understood, face taking on a sharp edge that gave him a significantly darker appearance, and waved his hand in vague permission.

Bumblebee's engine revved once, twice, and he took off by the third. He crashed through the white-picket fence, sending splinters in every direction, and Harry even didn't bother trying to contain his glee as he saw his aunt's precious garden – which _he_ had slaved over – become demolished when faced with the Autobot's tires. Tulips and petunia's littered Bumblebee's windshield before he merely wiped them off with his windshield wiper.

It wasn't long before Harry saw his aunt through Bumblebee's pitch black tinted windows. Her face was ghastly pale and she was screaming in the shrillest voice Harry had ever heard her manage. Bumblebee quickly enough crashed through the other side of the fence, and together they took off down the road, wailing becoming distant within moments before fading together. Bumblebee soon slowed to match the speed limit when he finally thought they were a safe distance to do so.

Harry's delighted laughter was finally dying minutes later, snorts and giggles escaping him when he recalled his aunt's face and how good it was to see the nigh spotless yard become such a mess. Harry could almost feel Bumblebee's smirk, he was giving off such an intense aura of smug pride.

"That-that felt really good," Harry finally sighed in contentment. Bumblebee had a smile in his voice as he replied,

"I'll say! Did you _see_ her faceplate? I thought she was going to have a processor meltdown! Her expression was even better than that Sirius guy back a few stellar cycles ago!" Harry blinked at the dashboard.

"When did you meet Sirius Black?"

"Did I say Sirius? I meant, er – Perry? Yeah, Perry… Brown. Perry Brown." Harry snorted, easing into Bumblebee's seat.

"Right, sure. Perry Brown, _honestly_… At least come up with a better name next time!"

"Roger that, boss-man!"

* * *

Harry fastened the air mask securely to his face. His voice was muffled as he voiced an affirmative when Bumblebee revved his engine eagerly. It was now much later, nearly three in the morning, and this was the best calculated time they could find where there would be the least amount of people in the area to possibly spot an unusual yellow car drive into the ocean without anyone coming to the surface.

Bumblebee's frame gave a shudder as he dipped into the cool, frigid waters. "_Ooh_, that smarts! Are you doing alright there, Harry?"

"Yeah," Harry replied as he watched out through Bumblebee's window in avid interest, "yeah, I'm doing alright." Harry observed the wooden legs of the harbor connecting to the beach appear to get further and further away as they drove farther out. As they drove further out from the British shores – and wow, but Harry never thought he'd realistically get the opportunity to think something like that! –, signs of sea life became more and more obvious. Harry's tiredness and exhaustion at the early hour was soon forgotten in the face of the aquatic landscape.

Eventually, however, within the next three-point-six breems, Harry succumbed to his body's natural need for sleep. Bumblebee drove on, making sure to avoid the bumpiest of the sea ground.

It was five breems after Harry fell asleep, however, did Bumblebee hit his first real snag since entering the ocean.

"Er," Bumblebee muttered intelligently, mindful of his sleeping passenger, "I didn't know Earth had fish people… I thought these guys were only indigenous to Regulus-89907?" The nearest fish person bared fangs and gave a guttural hiss that _really_ shouldn't have been heard through the water but managed it in response. Bumblebee edged away slightly.

Two more hisses came from behind him, and Bumblebee saw there were even _more_ of the fish people approaching. Bumblebee gave a threatening rev of his engine, beginning to panic when they only snapped at him, holding strange metal forks. Harry was still asleep, shifting to his side with a sleepy mumble. Hah, but organic recharging habits were weird…

Harry jumped awake, startled, when Bumblebee's tires made a strange, loud squelching noise that most likely would have been the sound of rubber grating against a cement road had they been on land. He blinked blearily before jerking wide awake and was left gaping at the view he saw, not quite sure if he was just having a _really_ strange dream or if he were actually awake.

"Are-are those _mermaids_?"

Bumblebee gave a slightly hysterical laugh, swerving to dodge a trident.

"You recognize them?" Harry gasped as a trident nearly hit the window near his face. "_Yes_! But I thought these things were myths! Next thing I know and Atlantis will suddenly be real, I suppose!"

Harry nearly gave a shriek when Bumblebee was nearly sent tumbling to his side from a particularly hard and quick turn, the momentum not settling well with the water slowing down Bumblebee's speed.

"Well I don't care what these things are," Bumblebee snapped irritably. "I just need to lose them… Oh, now that's an idea!" Bumblebee gave a cackle. Harry gulped, gripping onto the seatbelt nervously as it held him securely in place.

It took a moment for Harry to realize what the shaking of Bumblebee's frame meant, but when he did he shook his head rapidly, face paling drastically.

"Oh no, no, _no_! No, Bumblebee, don't you _bloody_ _dare_-"

Bumblebee ignored him, activating his thrusters.

Bumblebee quickly gained speed on their pursuers, thrusters leaving a trail of rapidly dying bubbles. He aimed for a slow left upon seeing an incline that lead higher, aiming towards above sea level.

Harry shrieked, clutching at the seat, and Bumblebee gave his own exhilarated shout of glee. They shot out of the water yelling and screaming, a black and yellow blur substitute for a rocket.

It was sudden, but they were air born for only a quick five to ten seconds. They landed hard, both letting out grunts at the impact, Bumblebee more so than Harry. It took a moment, but Harry recognized where they were. Or rather, what they were on.

"Er, Bumblebee? Are we on a, er, I don't want to sound _crazy_ but-"

"If you mean _are we on a cruise ship_, then yes Harry, we totally are." Bumblebee's voice sounded as faint and disbelieving as Harry felt in that moment, stunned and breathless. And a healthy dose of _Oh thank Primus are we still online?! _Was in the range of emotions being felt presently, but that was an expected reaction or emotion to be feeling considering their encounter with the… _Fish_ _people_.

Ugh, but Harry would convert to eating fish for the rest of his life as some sort of, of rightful retribution, _of angry revenge_!, at that highly unnecessary and prejudiced attack.

Mermaids were obviously racist against autonomous robots from space, which was the only reason Harry could think of to be attacked so violently.

Speaking of which, but Harry was really thanking his lucky stars that it was so early in the morning – when most people would consider it night, no doubt, if for no other reason than it being such an ungodly hour to be awake – as no one was on deck to see some strange car burst out of the sea with some strange teenaged-appearing male inside.

Except maybe the captain, but he probably figured he had just imagined it, and that wasn't even accounting for if the cruise ship was one of those fancy automatic ones that were gaining in popularity under the name of Sumdac or something, a supposedly skilled technological genius and prodigy just entering in his adulthood within the last couple of years.

It was that kind of raw talent that Harry could respect, but enough reminiscing. Harry had an alien car-robot for a best friend to hide in plain sight!

It took them another hour to find the storage containments, an extra thirty minutes to do so without making any noise, and an extra forty five minutes of making sure they hadn't left any clues.

Jaunt across the Pacific Ocean to America; _Semi-success_.

Or it was, until they made it to America itself.

"Ew, _ugh_! Harry, do you realize what this is _doing to my wheels_?"

Harry hissed at the much older-by-alien-technicalities-and-alien-calendars mech in response, "Stop talking! Cars don't talk, _least_ of all in bloody public!"

Bumblebee made a noise like a cat being run over by a car, twice. Harry patted the side of the yellow alien automobile in apology.

Sand, officially, was the bane of Bumblebee's _existence_. Harry could hate mermaids for the rest of his possibly-Cybertronian-like life, Bumblebee thought darkly, but he would never be able to comprehend the sheer, pure and uncontested _evilness_ _of_ _sand_.

By the _Allspark_, but Bumblebee didn't just have the gritty stuff between his joints and tires; he had it in places he didn't even _know_ he could get it!

Harry patted him again almost-sympathetically, attempting to look as if he were totally American with a non-alien car that definitely wasn't having a pity party for Primus' sake. Honestly, but Bumblebee could be such a Sparkling sometimes!


End file.
